Clarity and Charity

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? How do you see yourself? Do you see a precious worthwhile human being? Do you see an ugly, worthless, person of no value? Or perhaps something in between those two extremes? Do you think you see yourself accurately?

We all know that mirrors can distort reality, and of course they are the exact opposite of our true face. Right is left and left is right. But what really distorts our view is our own perception of reality. Some people might go as far as to assert that reality is not even real, or that we cannot even know true reality.

Either way, we do get to choose our perspective. This is important to know because oftentimes we get very caught up in how bad things are in our lives or how badly we are being treated by others, and distort reality by beginning to think the truth is ugly, bad, and wrong. We see others as ugly, bad, and wrong, and then ourselves become a reflection of that perspective. Or perhaps we are victims of those ugly, bad, or wrong people around us. And then our perspective is truly off.

The truth is you are a worthwhile precious human being. And by extension, everyone else is as well. If you can only hold these truths in your heart at all times, believe me, life can be good.

I have to make an exception here of course for those people existing in our world who truly do wish evil on others, who do actually focus on harm to others. Besides these very few evil people, most of us are just people - precious worthwhile human beings, just trying to get along in the world, stumbling along making our mistakes.

So why not choose to see the good? You can, you know. You can choose to see your good qualities, along with your weaknesses and still choose optimism in life. You can choose to be kind to yourself and others. You can choose to react with gentleness and compassion on yourself and others. You can choose to take things that are said or done “with a grain of salt.” You can choose to be patient. You can choose to be understanding. You can choose to have charity with clarity for yourself and others.  

The key is to accept yourself and others as they are, with compassion and understanding for the growth process each of us is on. Each of us is somewhere on the ladder of learning and growing, and can’t be expected to be anywhere different than where we are. There is serenity in acceptance. Peace can be found in clarity. Reality becomes less harsh within the perspective of charity.

Try looking in the next mirror with clarity and charity. The combination is magical! Remember, you make your life what you want it to be. No one else. Why not choose clarity and charity?

Kathy Bruner, LCMHC
Clinical Director, Mt. Grove Counseling